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“Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile.”
– Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night
When I was a young girl, my siblings and I spent most summer days outside. We never needed our arms twisted to force us out the back door into the sunshine. Because there were so many kids in the neighborhood, we had multiple ideas of what we could do and many of them were not great ones. From playing “chicken” with lit firecrackers to jumping ramps made of plywood propped on bricks, I’m shocked that we did not mortally wound ourselves. I’m not too critical of the choices we made because, at 12 years of age, our brains were not developed enough to predict the consequences of our choices. Thinking is a skill a person must develop and I often wonder if it is a skill many overlook today.
Two primary purposes of doubt
One needs to approach the subject of doubt with thoughtful consideration. I have concluded that, as is true of many things, doubt has some benefits and drawbacks.
- Doubt can be useful for gleaning accurate information.
Thanks to my mom and dad who instilled in me a love for reading, I have enjoyed books my whole life. I have read books in many genres, but there is one specific plot of a book that frustrates me. It’s the book that contains a conflict early on that could have been resolved if one character had asked to clarify the words and actions of another. If this character were to receive the desired explanation, the story would be over. Done. No conflict would arise. Yes, I realize that in writing a book this way, it would “kill” the story and there would be no need for the chapters that follow but it strikes me as a waste of time when the central character asks for no clarification. I must admit, though, that I have avoided asking for explanations when needed because this is not an easy thing to do.
How many conflicts and problems could we avoid in life if we had only asked for clarification? Doubt can be a catalyst for getting some answers for things that are unclear.
In my middle school classroom, I inform my students of specific grammar rules, and a student will doubt what I’m saying and ask for clarification. For example, I may teach when to use “a” versus “an” before a noun. I’ll ask the students if they know how to distinguish when to use each article. They know and reply that when a noun begins with a vowel, they are to use “an” before it. I commend them for their knowledge but then I say that that’s not always true; there are times a writer is to use “an” when the next word does not begin with a vowel. A wise student will use his doubt and ask for an example of where this happens and I show them that a word such as “hour” will have the article “an” because the word begins with the sound of a vowel. Using doubt in this situation is beneficial.
I have also found a constructive use of doubt in situations when I’m asked to do something by my boss that I think is unreasonable or illogical. If I ask her, in a nonconfrontational manner, why she asks me to complete the task in a particular way, I often receive a workable explanation. As my trust and confidence in my boss’ decision-making and leadership abilities grow, I find it replaces my doubt with the assurance that she knows what she’s doing and I can focus my energy on the tasks she has given me.
- An attempt to calm our insecurities
Harboring doubt despite receiving accurate information and an assuring explanation of someone’s actions is a bad thing. It is common to rub shoulders with someone who is so insecure that they doubt that you are on their side. Being married to someone demanding constant reassurance is tiring and draining; similar to having a tick sucking out your blood to survive. (And, for the record, I am NOT married to a man like this!) There are human ticks in many relationships: family, coworkers, customers and more. The connection these people seek is unhealthy and choosing to doubt another will not bring the desired security; it will often bring alienation.
Healing doubt fed by insecurity takes work.
- First, we must have a realistic view of ourselves.
The Bible tells us that God loves and values us. After each of the first five days of creation, God looked at all He made and stated that they were good. On the sixth day, after He made man and woman, He made a unique statement; He said that people are very good (Genesis 1:31)
God also reveals that despite our failures and mistakes, He loves us completely. “But God is so rich in mercy, and He loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead.” (Ephesians 2:4-5)
As we grow in our trust of God, taking Him at His word becomes easier. He said we have value and making this choice eases the doubt we have in our worth.
- We need to take a personal inventory of our gifts and strengths and use them for the benefit of ourselves and others.
Every one of us, because of the individual circumstances of our lives, has unique gifts and abilities. Do you know what they are? Take out a piece of paper and make a list of the things you do well; it might surprise you how long the list becomes.
Once your list is complete, find ways of using your gifts and strengths in your home, at your job and in your community. Doing these things for the benefit of others builds up one’s self-esteem and eases the doubt you have of your value.
Working through our personal insecurities is not an over-night process, it takes work and thorough evaluation of ourselves. When our self-worth grows, the role of doubt becomes less prevalent, enabling our souls to become more fit.
