1885) When I’m sitting at this computer, contemplating what God will have me write for another “minute,” it causes mixed feelings. Why? Because whatever topic God leads me to write about, it’s something I must incorporate into my life as well. I don’t sit and write thinking; I’ve got this thing together, but my readers sure need it. The words that pour onto my electronic paper are often the ones I desperately need to hear and heed. Today’s topic is a good example of this.
The other day, I was in my classroom with my young scholars and though I’m working on my 39th year of teaching; I failed. I tried something with one particular class, a room full of impulsive, energetic and, yes, enthusiastic kids. It didn’t go well because it became obvious, quickly, they weren’t ready for it. It caused the kids to rocket into a space that was chaotic and I responded with a sterner force than necessary. Afterward, I realized it wasn’t their fault. They were simply responding to a situation they couldn’t handle yet.
I left school in tears, feeling like a total failure. You should have known, with your experience, they weren’t ready for this sort of activity. Someone else in your classroom would have known better and done a better job. You’re a failure.
Living within a body that has embraced the overwhelming feeling of failure is difficult. I can’t seem to listen to any voice of reason. I‘m 100% convinced of this “fact.” Yet, despite my feelings, John 8:44 tells us Satan is a liar and the father (or creator) of lies. Bottom line, Satan was (and will be again, I’m sure) telling me I‘m a failure, knowing this will close me down, resulting in more harm in my classroom in the future.
In the days following, I could eventually understand I just made a mistake (not a failure) and I’ll adjust what I do in that class. It was just a mistake; not worthy of condemnation.
If you also feel like a failure from time to time (or more often than that), Jesus brings life (John 14:6), not the death caused by one who seeks to devour you. (1 Peter 5:8)
