1636) I have a fear, not so much of my drowning, but of watching someone else drown. I’m not sure of the origin of this, but it’s within me.

When I see movies where someone is being rescued from drowning, I notice how much the person fights the one trying to save them. I know it’s instinctive, but it makes me also picture grace and the times I have fought against it.

The verses of 2 Corinthians 12:9 and 1 Peter :8 contain one battle I wage. The first tells us God’s grace is enough for me and the other one says love covers a multitude of sin and yet, there are times I fight this. Why?

I think part of my struggle is I don’t understand grace because much of the world we live in doesn’t run on it. I also think if I give myself the grace God promises, I might use it to my advantage and allow it to be the excuse for not keeping a tight rein on my choices. Could these happen? Yes, and yet refusing to saturate myself in the love and grace God gives me makes me a frustrated and rigid person. This is someone I don’t want to be.

Because of these things, battling the grace and love of God is turning my back on these gifts God has given me. It’s like fighting the one who is rescuing me.

Stop fighting.