When I was a girl, my siblings and I would go to the grocery store with my mother. I’m sure my mom did not enjoy it as much as we did. Most of these excursions ended with my mother saying in an exasperated voice, “I’m never taking you all to the grocery store again,” even though she had to and did.One thing about grocery shopping my brothers and I were aware of was the number of S & H Green Stamps generated from that week’s purchases. My mother allowed all of us to have our own books for stamps and she divided up the ones from the week among us. Having pored over the S & H Green Stamp catalogue, all of us had something we were saving up for. As a child, I could not believe a grocery store would give us these stamps so I could trade them in for that coveted ukulele (which I still have). What I didn’t understand was these stamps were an early form of what we now know as “loyalty rewards”.
Loyalty is now a marketing buzzword. Everyone wants the consumer’s loyalty. What I find daunting is that loyalty, in our society, is deteriorating. Dictionary.com defines loyalty as, “faithfulness to commitments, obligations, government, and leaders.” I would continue this definition by adding that loyalty is also faithfulness to God, marriage/family promises and causes we are passionate about.
Considering these definitions, we need to also look at what the word, “faithful” means. Dictionary.com defines faithfulness as, “strict or thorough in the performance of a duty, being true to one’s word, steady allegiance and adhering to a fact or standard.” If I were to summarize these, I would use the word, commitment; if I say I will do something, then my actions will reflect it.
Putting the two concepts together, loyalty is the discipline of commitment to someone or something. We do not base this loyalty on emotions but on the fact that I have thoughtfully made a commitment to someone or something and I choose my actions and reactions based on this commitment. In my mind, loyalty is a verb, it’s a choice I make based on a commitment I’ve made.
In deciding to whom or what I will be loyal, it’s a much more important choice than which grocery store I will choose. Though I don’t think it’s wrong to do business with a company that is a better economical choice (or has the best incentives), loyalty is a commitment we make to people, principles, and passions.
I have made the choice to be loyal or committed to God. I have not chosen to do this because I need a crutch in life; I have chosen this loyalty out of need. If left on my own, without God’s guidance, my life would be in the ditch.
Proverbs 21:21 (NIV) says, “Whoever pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor.” Since I John 4:16 states that, “God is love,” my loyalty to Him gives me life, prosperity and honor.
I am not, however, loyal to God just because of what I can get or because He has the best incentives. I am loyal out of gratitude. John 15:13 (NIV) states, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Since God loved me so much, He was willing to give His own Son’s life for me (John 3:16), I am loyal and committed to Him out of gratitude. We do not base this loyalty on my feelings or circumstances because neither one of these changes what God has done and is doing for me.
Before I continue, I think it’s important to include the fact I often fail in my loyalties to God and other people, principles and passions I will mention below. This is something many non-believers use as a reason for not committing to God (or
to other types of loyalty). Honestly, I think they have a valid point. Why should they commit to something I say is important when they hear my words and see my actions contradicting my commitments? These thoughts alone burden me and they are right; at least about my end of the commitment. This last phrase is important to notice, however.
Yes, I should be mindful of how my lifestyle reflects my loyalties to God but my thoughts and actions do not change God’s thoughts and actions concerning me.This alone is what gives me the strength and courage to get back on the right pathway and continue working on reflecting my commitment to God in my words and actions.
God is not the only one I am loyal or committed to. I make the commitment of marriage. Over 30 years ago, I made a promise to be loyal to my husband. When I think back to my 22-year-old mindset, I thought I knew what loyalty in marriage involved. Now, I shake my head, knowing I did not understand; I was young and in love, idealistically thinking “love conquers all.” The 30-plus years following that commitment have included things that were spectacular, beyond the good we both dreamed would be and there have also been things that challenged every loyalty my husband and I have for each other. Because we both made a commitment to marriage, before God, we have continued in our loyalty to one another, even when situations screamed for us to let go.
Finally, loyalty and commitment to our family is another choice I make. As always, this loyalty is not situation specific. It is a commitment I choose to make and there is comfort and security in the unwavering loyalty I give my family and receive from them.
Just as I have made a choice in loyalties to people, I have also made commitments to principles. As we coexist in a time when the news reflects everything but loyalty, I still think it is important we stay loyal to our country and its
leaders. I don’t have to like what our politicians are saying and doing, in fact, I can vehemently disagree with them but I can still be loyal to my country. I recognize, here in America, I have so many rights and privileges. I am fortunate to live in a place which allows me the freedoms I have and, despite what our leaders say and do, I can still be loyal to the principals upon which our country is founded.
I am also loyal to those in my workplace. If you work full time, especially, your job becomes your second family. I choose to be loyal to my occupation and those running it but because humans are combinations of good and bad, it’s not always possible to remain committed and if that’s the case, I will choose to break my ties with it and move on to another place.
Finally, another principle I need to be loyal to are any promises I have made. People will know what sort of person I am by what I do. If I say I will do something, then my commitment needs to be to following through with what I promised. Considering these, being mindful of the “cost” of commitments I make will help me avoid trouble further down the line.
Our loyalties to our passions are important. It is loyalty that has produced great movements in history. When injustice is looming before me, I can work to correct it and my loyalty to the cause fuels my actions.
The easiest way to sabotage a cause is to claim loyalty and not following through in my commitment to it. How do I expect others to join me in my loyalty to a specific cause if I’m not 100% committed to it?
What about when the person, principle or passion I have been loyal to acts or incorporates bad behavior or standards and I no longer feel I can be loyal? Am I being irresponsible in my breaking ties with someone or something I have been loyal to? I don’t believe so.
Blind loyalty to someone or something is not a good enough reason to stay loyal. People change, principles shift their focus and causes can run their course. It is irresponsible to not make periodic evaluations of our loyalties and commitments. This doesn’t make us flighty, rather it illustrates our thoughtful consideration.
Loyalty is an important part of our existence. It makes our relationship with people, principles and passions stable. Understanding loyalty needs to be a thoughtful endeavor forces me to test what I wish to commit to and what I don’t.
