732) Wanting control has been a desire of mankind since the book of Genesis. We want to control the weather, family, jobs, friends and more. Some of these things we wish to control are not a big deal but the huge negative of this desire is it can creep up on you without noticing–sort of like the frog in the kettle. The water gets hot gradually, unnoticed until it boils the frog.

Needing to control can ruin relationships. If a parent tries to control the child (not to be confused with discipline), this child can grow up fearful or incapable of making his or her own decisions. If a husband or wife tries to control the other, tension will grow in the marriage and the fruits of this are always bitter. If a boss tries to control the employees, resentment builds and the quality of work is low.

In 1 Kings 21:1-23, King Ahab wants a vineyard owned by Naboth and he does everything he knows to control Naboth’s decision not to sell it to him. Naboth holds firm and will not budge, so Queen Jezebel exercises her need to control and has him killed. Ultimately, both the king and queen receive God’s judgment and punishment and their so-called control is extinguished.

The need for control (and I’m speaking to myself here, too) is often rooted in avoidance. Wanting to avoid conflict, confrontation, a large price, hard conversations, and battles is understandable but when we realize that we have little control over anything in this life, it’s better to surrender it to God who has control.