1439) I have mentioned before I have this fear of seeing someone drown. Even though a psychological evaluation can shed light on why this is true of me, it is a reality I must live with.
Because of this fear, I have pictured what it’s like for someone to drown. It literally makes my heart rate go up and even if I imagine being rescued, my whole body goes on full alert.
Psalm 50:15 tells us in our times of trouble, God rescues us. I have read these words while thinking about being saved from drowning, and my reaction, surprisingly, causes conflict within.
If I were on the verge of drowning and I was rescued at the last minute, I would feel indignant because it seems like I’m barely surviving. If I am to be rescued, I don’t want it to be barely. I want to be taken out of the life-changing event before it gets to desperation.
Because of these thoughts, I’m putting myself in the place of God. I know when it is best to rescue me. I know when the timing is right. I think that “barely” is an unnecessary stress that would be best to avoid. All these thoughts are like those of Lucifer before God cast him out of heaven. (Isaiah 14:12-15). The bottom line is, he said, I will be like God.
When I ponder these things, I am reminded that just “getting by” in my mind is frequently not inline with God’s timing in sending his help. I must trust, by faith, that God will act at the best time and I’d be better off letting God do his promised work instead of trying to take on his job myself.